I love the game so far, the UI is amazing, the lore is intruiging, and I like the characters, but I do have some issues.
1) The english is this game is, honestly, not good. There's broken english, unnatural phrasing, and bad grammar all over the place. This is by far my biggest criticism of the game. The bizarre and sometime outright bad choice of words really throw off any kind of mood trying to be built, and in some instances completely ruin the pacing of scenes. I have a feeling this is machine translation, but you really need to get an english proofreader to iron out these issues and make it flow correctly. Hell, I'll do it for free. For example - The fight with the kidnapper where he says "Don't think I won't fight back!" being unnecessay padding for what should be a fast paced action scene, female lead thinking about her PTSD and cursing that it's come back when she's meant to be on the verge of a panic attack seeming unrealistic, the sentence after Luke leaves where female lead thinks about how she's anything like a bunny being worded weirdly, Dane calling us "Sillyhead", just off the top of my head.
2) Shoehorning, another thing that leads to pacing issues. The worst instance being the female lead's flashback to her parents murders. This felt so unnatural to happen at the moment it did and felt like you were just trying to shove the information in for us. Please remember this is only a demo, we don't need all the information right now, even for our own character, we can get hints! This is a visual novel, show, don't tell. We can fill in the blanks and information can always be introduced more naturally later on - for example a flashback during a conversation where we as the main character open up to the male leads.
3) Dane and Enox need looking at in my opinion. Dane's colour combination with the current saturation just doesn't look fabulous - His eyes are way too bright for the rest of his colour palette, I would probably suggest desaturating them or darkening them somehow. And I noticed on Enox's in game sprite there's a weird line on his neck which makes it look like his head was pasted on the rest of the body, the lines don't meet up correctly and the shading is odd, it just looks wrong, like they were done as 2 separate pieces and merged together.
4) Why is female lead ok with being kissed by Luke and Dane? In her own mind, she only met them earlier in the day, even while panicking, I cannot see how she would have no comment about this?
Overall, a good demo! With a bit of refinement, I think this could be ok!
The game is fantastic and while I do agree that it needs some polishing (particularly in the English translation) the other criticisms read more like subjective issues rather than objective problems. It's one thing to point out that the grammar is off or that the word choices feel off, it's another thing to claim that the art and story need touching up because you personally don't like the colour combos or the MC being kissed on the first day. You're right that it's a demo and we don't need everything up front, but the point of a demo is also to lure in players and sometimes that lure is being able to kiss a hot dude.
“It’s another thing to claim the story needs touching up because you personally don’t like the colour combo or the MC being kissed”
At no point did I state these things need to be done or changed nor did I act like it was objective, in fact I specifically used language such as “in my opinion”, "This felt", and “I cannot see how”, these are phrases to highlight how these are just that, opinions, this is for me as you say a personal criticism. Even in the dictionary, criticism is based on perceived merits and faults and are subjective, reviews are almost always inherently subjective.
I’m confused as to your comment, everything I stated is an opinion, and you’re allowed to disagree with what I say as is the developer. I am well aware as a developer myself that they have no need to even read my response, and if they do they don’t need to action any of the things I do have an issue with in the demo, the developer has that choice as it is their product and then it will be my decision to decide whether it is worth the cost. There will be people who love the things I don’t, such as the kiss on the first day of meeting Luke, that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to talk about them or mention them, the same way you’re allowed to respond to me not agreeing with me, I never acted like my opinion somehow overrides anyone else’s. In fact I'm stoked for the developer that people are already this excited for their game and I hope the traction continues for them!
Looking at the comments I am one of, if not the first person to bring up any form of issue, demos are both about sharing the game and player feedback, that’s the point of them, like I say the creator can decide the things I don’t like are things they do like and/or want to keep in their game for whatever reason, I was specific in making sure it was worded in a way where it was clear that this was opinion based, and I wasn’t mean. People having issues with a product they might buy in future is not inherently hateful or mean simply by having issues and talking about them. But thank you for being respectful in your response!
this is sooo good!!! i was really enjoying the story until realized it's demo lol gaaahhhh im so looking forward for the full version!!!!! i cant wait!!!!!!! tho its still not fully released but everything already is so perfect! story? characters? art? voice actors? literally 100/100 !!!!!!!!!😳😳😳😳😳🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ngl im missing the characters already😭😭😭😭😭
![Heart Cage [New Demo]](https://img.itch.zone/aW1nLzE4MDQ3MTc4LnBuZw==/original/HHP2SF.png)
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好急，会支持众筹的！期待完整版！
感謝你☺️眾籌已經開始了，感謝支持！
超級棒！期待完整版
感謝！
can u post this on a reading manga like MANGAHOT.COM I can’t download anything
支持~祝越來越好~期待完整作品~
感謝你❤️
特别喜欢！老师辛苦啦！期待完整版！
感謝！
老师太强了！这得花费多少精力啊！喜欢喜欢，爱看爱看
感謝！！
best yandere game fr, the game is still demo but super good
It just went on kickstarter today! 😀 With early bird deals! 😆 The stretch goals are like 3 more guys.
Thank you❤️
I love the game so far, the UI is amazing, the lore is intruiging, and I like the characters, but I do have some issues.
1) The english is this game is, honestly, not good. There's broken english, unnatural phrasing, and bad grammar all over the place. This is by far my biggest criticism of the game. The bizarre and sometime outright bad choice of words really throw off any kind of mood trying to be built, and in some instances completely ruin the pacing of scenes. I have a feeling this is machine translation, but you really need to get an english proofreader to iron out these issues and make it flow correctly. Hell, I'll do it for free. For example - The fight with the kidnapper where he says "Don't think I won't fight back!" being unnecessay padding for what should be a fast paced action scene, female lead thinking about her PTSD and cursing that it's come back when she's meant to be on the verge of a panic attack seeming unrealistic, the sentence after Luke leaves where female lead thinks about how she's anything like a bunny being worded weirdly, Dane calling us "Sillyhead", just off the top of my head.
2) Shoehorning, another thing that leads to pacing issues. The worst instance being the female lead's flashback to her parents murders. This felt so unnatural to happen at the moment it did and felt like you were just trying to shove the information in for us. Please remember this is only a demo, we don't need all the information right now, even for our own character, we can get hints! This is a visual novel, show, don't tell. We can fill in the blanks and information can always be introduced more naturally later on - for example a flashback during a conversation where we as the main character open up to the male leads.
3) Dane and Enox need looking at in my opinion. Dane's colour combination with the current saturation just doesn't look fabulous - His eyes are way too bright for the rest of his colour palette, I would probably suggest desaturating them or darkening them somehow. And I noticed on Enox's in game sprite there's a weird line on his neck which makes it look like his head was pasted on the rest of the body, the lines don't meet up correctly and the shading is odd, it just looks wrong, like they were done as 2 separate pieces and merged together.
4) Why is female lead ok with being kissed by Luke and Dane? In her own mind, she only met them earlier in the day, even while panicking, I cannot see how she would have no comment about this?
Overall, a good demo! With a bit of refinement, I think this could be ok!
The game is fantastic and while I do agree that it needs some polishing (particularly in the English translation) the other criticisms read more like subjective issues rather than objective problems. It's one thing to point out that the grammar is off or that the word choices feel off, it's another thing to claim that the art and story need touching up because you personally don't like the colour combos or the MC being kissed on the first day. You're right that it's a demo and we don't need everything up front, but the point of a demo is also to lure in players and sometimes that lure is being able to kiss a hot dude.
“It’s another thing to claim the story needs touching up because you personally don’t like the colour combo or the MC being kissed”
At no point did I state these things need to be done or changed nor did I act like it was objective, in fact I specifically used language such as “in my opinion”, "This felt", and “I cannot see how”, these are phrases to highlight how these are just that, opinions, this is for me as you say a personal criticism. Even in the dictionary, criticism is based on perceived merits and faults and are subjective, reviews are almost always inherently subjective.
I’m confused as to your comment, everything I stated is an opinion, and you’re allowed to disagree with what I say as is the developer. I am well aware as a developer myself that they have no need to even read my response, and if they do they don’t need to action any of the things I do have an issue with in the demo, the developer has that choice as it is their product and then it will be my decision to decide whether it is worth the cost. There will be people who love the things I don’t, such as the kiss on the first day of meeting Luke, that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to talk about them or mention them, the same way you’re allowed to respond to me not agreeing with me, I never acted like my opinion somehow overrides anyone else’s. In fact I'm stoked for the developer that people are already this excited for their game and I hope the traction continues for them!
Looking at the comments I am one of, if not the first person to bring up any form of issue, demos are both about sharing the game and player feedback, that’s the point of them, like I say the creator can decide the things I don’t like are things they do like and/or want to keep in their game for whatever reason, I was specific in making sure it was worded in a way where it was clear that this was opinion based, and I wasn’t mean. People having issues with a product they might buy in future is not inherently hateful or mean simply by having issues and talking about them. But thank you for being respectful in your response!
To inform you guys, the English translation has been improved in the extended demo☺️
加油 期待完整版！
感謝！！
好棒的游戏！！！作者大大加油哦！期待完整版！！！！
感謝！
really hit my heart...
期待完整版TAT
Thank you so much!!
heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh
YIPPEE!!! Can't wait for the full game really!
Thank you so much!!
Kickstarter is live! I repeat, it’s LIVE YA’ll! 😆
作品疯狂戳我心上！
感謝!!
I really can't wait for the full game!
Thank you!!
Kickstarter just went up!
真的超棒，每个人设都很好，很难不爱，想知道什么时候有完整版的，好想看后续！
接下來將會進行眾籌, 如果一切順利, 完整版預計在2025 Q1推出呢
作者加油www我很期待後續正式版！！！女主的立繪蠻可愛的~~病嬌屬性的男主我喜歡
謝謝你喜歡他們!
Really great start, I am hooked! Can't wait for the full version
Thank you~!!!
i cant wait any more !!!啊啊啊啊啊后续后续！！！
Thank you~!!
期待完整版！！大大辛苦啦
感謝你!
www期待作者大大的完整版！好喜欢！呜呜呜呜呜呜呜呜迫不及待！
感謝感謝！
this is sooo good!!! i was really enjoying the story until realized it's demo lol gaaahhhh im so looking forward for the full version!!!!! i cant wait!!!!!!! tho its still not fully released but everything already is so perfect! story? characters? art? voice actors? literally 100/100 !!!!!!!!!😳😳😳😳😳🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ngl im missing the characters already😭😭😭😭😭
ahhhhh😭😭😭❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥Thank you🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶
这是什么神作，期待完整版啊啊啊！！作者大大继续加油
感謝感謝！
天呐卢克简直了太戳xp——真的超级期待完整版！作者太太加油！！
感謝你！
Damn this is amazing! Can't wait for the full game release!
Thank you❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
啊啊啊啊啊真的很好玩！期待完整版！
謝謝你的喜歡！！！！💨
AHHH!!! THIS IS SO GOOD!!! I LOVE ENOX SO MUCH!!!!😫😫
Thank youuuuuuu❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Glad you love him
虽然只是Demo可是真的也很精彩！！人物塑造地超级棒！！超级喜欢Enox！！现在超级期待正式版！！而且配音演员都好优秀！如果正式版需要付费的话这将是我第一个会付钱的游戏！
非常感謝你😭❤️🔥❤️🙏我會努力做好完整版的！
看完安利立马购买，真的太爱了！！
感謝！
看了安利来的。只玩了一会就爱上了这个游戏！！作者太太很会写！三个男主人设都很喜欢！声优们也很贴角色！！
感謝你的喜歡❤️🫶
Cant wait for it!!好期待!!聲優很棒很澀氣!!
Haha感謝🙏
完全爱上了这个作品，超级带感www期待更新！作者大大辛苦啦
感謝感謝！❤️🫶
我真的很爱!!!!因为在B站看到太太的游戏游玩，才注册了这个网站，狠狠关注接下来来的更新啦！！！很好！很期待很色气！！
非常感謝！🫶❤️🔥
!!!!!!sooooooo amazing!!!!
thank you soooooooo much!
rice太太的新作！畫風跟前兩作比起來感覺越來越精良了，而且進步好大owo！好期待後續的發展qvqqqq這次居然是全配音的！辛苦rice和配音員啦~
（順帶一提繁中版我捉到了兩處錯字 怕劇透什麼的就把它們挪下面一點啦！（（
↓↓
第一個是初遇盧克的時候我聽了英文的語音對比了一下 應該是“身手不錯”而非“新手不錯”？
第二個是在女主選擇伊諾克斯線的時候 應該是“走著瞧吧”而不是“走著朝吧”（？
不知道有沒有理解錯，如果不是的話我就獻醜了qaq
如果是的話可以改進一下！也希望rice越來越好！:333以及我真的超期待後續的！XDD
感謝你一直支持我的作品！❤️💞💞💞💨
啊啊啊原來我寫錯了，我會在下個版本一并修改！感謝提醒！❤️
期待rice有更好的作品！( ´▽` )ﾉ
能幫到你我也很高興！:33
謝謝rice的遊戲，非常期待後續!!!懸疑感和瘋批男主我真的超愛，配音老師也配的好棒!!!但更讓我震驚的是老師的技術力，居然都是老師一個人做的嗎?!!真的好厲害!!!請老師收下我的膝蓋!!!!老師加油!!!我迫不及待想玩正式版了|•'-'•) ✧
感謝你！❤️配音員們真的很優秀！謝謝你的支持❤️我會努力做好完整版的！
很期待正式版！！三个男主都很可爱特别是Dane,黑皮狗狗特别好！老师的几个作品都很棒>3<
感謝感謝！<3 你喜歡就好了
DAMN good i wanna more
thank you!!
Head to the kickstarter! It just went up! 🥳
感謝你的喜歡！！
Ohhhhh，your game is as good as ever~This time it's also great!（ ˝ ᗢ ̈˝ )
Thank you❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️